Wacked up Tortall
by Alannah the Lioness
Summary: This is a very strange little oneshot I made up in my head one day. I hope you like it, because I had so much fun writing it! R&R please!


A/N: Okay, this is one of the things that I always make up in my mind, but never put down on paper. Well, this time, I actually had got to. And this is what it turned out to be. xD Hopefully you likey it! Oh yeah, in case you didn't read the summary, it's a one-shot.

Daine trotted down the hill to meet Numair. He was going to give her another lesson.

"Numair!" She greeted him as she approached the pasture fence. He had his back turned to her, so she laid a hand on his arm.

But he didn't respond

"Numair?"

He turned on her, eyes wide.

"TURKEY!" He screeched, and with that, he ran into the nearby forest.

'That was fair strange,' Daine thought. 'Oh well. Time for bed.' And she lie down on the ground, and fell asleep.

Numair on the other hand...

* * *

All the small animals looked down from the trees, and up from their burrows, only to see a lunatic running through the forest.

"THE TURKEYS ARE COMING!" Numair yelled, just as he collided withthe mental man the animals had just seen.

Stopping in shock, Numair looked down.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Hello," the short, fat man said.

"TURKEY MINION!"

Now, this mental man was having a momentary lapse of intelligence, which is why he is about to ask this, extremely normal sounding question...

"Sir, why are you talking all in capitals?"

Numair looked embarrassed.

"Oh, I am? Really?

The man nodded.

"Sorry about that. Turkey minion!"

He turned and ran into a prop tree, consequently knocking himself out.

The mental guy hovered over the tall mage, poking and prodding to see if he was alive.

"Quit it, punk!" Numair screamed at him. "I'm supposed to be unconscious, damnit!""

"It's aliiiiiive!" The fat man bellowed.

With that, he calmly walked away.

* * *

King Jonathon looked at his court with a dead expression on his face.

"Where's my underwear?" he demanded in a monotone voice. "I need my underwear!"

"Sire! I've found it!"

"My underwear!" He asked in the same voice.

"No sire," said the child. "My finger nail polish!" The small boy looked at Jon.

"Kill him," Jon ordered.

Thayet, who was wearing her ninja outfit, took out her bow, and shot the kid through the heart.

"Thanks honey!" The king exclaimed, breaking his monotone voice.

"You're welcome, my sexy beast!" Thayet reached into her pocket. "I have a present for you..."

Jon looked at her, his heart beating wildly.

"A cookie?"

"No," she said seductively. "Something better..."

Jon was dumbfounded.

"But what could be better than a cookie?" He asked, near tears.

'THIS!" The queen yelled as she pulled a matching set of a black, lacy man-thong and a man-bra.

"UNDERWEAR!" The king exclaimed, stripping off his clothes.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!" He whined.

Thayet threw the underwear to him and watched as he put them on.

"Look at me!" He exclaimed, jumping up and down on his throne. "I'm SEXY!"

With that, he hurled himself at his queen, who was still dressed in her ninja suit, and preceded to make out with her. His court cheered them on.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ouna sat on her bed, talking to a duck.

"Quack."

"Oh, I know! I understand completely she told him.

"Ouna!"

She pointed to the duck.

"You talked!" She accused.

"Quack?"

"But, but-" she stuttered.

A mouse jumped onto her foot.

"No, Ouna! DOWN HERE!"

"A horsey!" She exclaimed. "Can I ride you!"

"I'm a MOUSE! Gods, are you blind!"

"Yes..." She stared off into space.

"Oh, well I'll go play with the cats then." he left Ouna and the duck.

But sadly, the cats were hungry.

The last thing he heard before he was swallowed was one ominous word. Quack.

* * *

I think we'll skip Sarge.

Why? Well um... Se for yourself... -shows you a picture of Sarge posing naked with Buri-

* * *

Alanna jumped off of the cliff.

"I'm flying!" she screamed, as she dropped, quite fastly, to the ground.

Her husband, George, danced around singing.

"Ding dong, the witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong, the wi-" He was cut off. Quite literally actually. -points to his head rolling away-

Alanna stood behind him, holding her sword.

"Call me a witch again, and I'll cut off more than your head!" she explained to him as she watched his body fall to the ground.

She looked over the cliff.

"I see that my robot failed to fly!" She said. "Well, I guess I'll just do it myself!"

She jumped.

* * *

Suddenly a giant foot came out of the sky, and smushed the entire country of Tortall.

The Great God Mithros looked down.

"Oops!"

"Doesn't matter!" The Goddess said. "They're only puny mortals."

"Very true" he agreed. "Your move," he said, and they went back to playing their game of dominoes.

THE END!


End file.
